Michael

Today, I was driving my son to swimming lessons after work and noticed a man walking down Poplar Avenue in Germantown.  He was talking to himself and walking down a long stretch of road with no resting place in sight.  If you live in the Memphis area, this is not typically a place where you see someone that could be homeless.  He was on the other side of the street, and we kept on driving to get to the lesson on time.  I couldn't help but wondering what his story was, if he had a bible, and if he knew Jesus.  

About 45 minutes passed, and swimming was over. Cooper and I couldn't wait to get home.  It had been a long day, and I wanted to see my husband.  I took a different way home, and as I was coming up on Poplar, I saw the same man who was walking earlier turn the corner.  I reached for the cold, unopened bottle of water in my car and frantically searched for some cash. It couldn't be a coincidence that my path crossed his again, could it?  I turned the corner and mentally prepared for the best place to stop to give him the water.  As I turned, he had vanished!  Where had he gone? Oh well, right?  I was willing to help him, but he had disappeared. That's not my fault, is it?

 As I approached the next traffic light, I had a nagging feeling on my heart.  The conversation in my mind went like this, "Lord, he is gone. I wanted to help him, but he is gone!  What do you want me to do?" The light was about to change, and I could either circle around and look for him, or go straight and get home.  At the last moment I made the decision to turn and circle around.  There was a Wendy's around the corner by where the man disappeared, and I thought maybe he went there.  Maybe he was hungry, maybe they kicked him out of the store, and maybe I could buy him food.  I pulled around the Wendy's, and I saw the man sitting near a window eating a sandwich.  PHEW! Someone took care of him.  Great, I get to go home!!  

But, not so fast... Cue nagging feeling.... I looked to the right on my car seat, and there sat the bible I had given my husband for Father's Day last year.  It even had his name engraved on it with a sweet "presented to" note from me about how wonderful a husband and father he was.  At this point I was about 2-3 miles away from the Wendy's, and the nagging feeling got stronger and stronger.  God, what do you want me to do? Give this man my husband's bible?  So after much mental deliberation and protesting, I turned my car around and headed back to Wendy's.  I had it all planned in my head how it would go down.  I would walk in to Wendy's and say, "Excuse me sir, I don't know why, but I feeling like I am supposed to give you this. Take my bible."  Then the man would burst into tears and say, " Thank you so much!  I have been praying for a bible! Praise God!" I was ready! This was going to be great!

I pulled back into Wendy's and looked inside. At the table where the man was sitting was an empty cup. Total Bummer. I sat in the parking lot for a minute, and my son who had been quiet up to this point said, "Mom what are you doing?  Why do we keep circling?"  Great question - what on earth was I doing?  This is totally insane, and I need to go home.  I pulled away completely confused, and my heart felt very heavy.  I turned into a gas station and wondered what to do next. 

 I looked back across the way and saw the man walking near a bank!!!  It was time to make my move.  I cut across the 6 lane road one more time, pulled into the bank he was walking past, and stopped right next to him. My heart was racing as I rolled down the window and said, "Here, I want to give you this!  Take it, it's yours!"  The man looked at me and said with alcohol breath, "I got a bible, read it everyday. I don't need a bible.  I need a ride! "  Oh dear God, what do I do now.... I can't let this man in my car.  So I blurted out "I am sorry, but I have my boy in the car with me." He looked in the car and said, "I won't hurt your boy. My name is Michael."  He reached in and shook my little Cooper's hand as I held my breath. He then said, "I only have a dollar left, and they gave me free food at Wendy's.  I don't have money for the bus."  He took a sip of the cup he was holding, which I am pretty sure contained alcohol in it too.  He was slurring his words very badly. 

 I told him I didn't have any cash, but that I would go through the ATM.  When he heard ATM,  he said he needed fifty dollars. As I drove around the building, I imagined him walking up to the ATM while no one was around and doing only the Lord knows what.  My hands were shaking so bad I could barely type in my pin number, anticipating him walking up to my car at any moment.  I wanted to get out of there quick, and I wondered what on earth was I thinking. I got out twenty dollars and drove around the side of the building.  I pulled up to him and started to hand him the money.  I asked Michael was he sure he had a bible.  He said, "Yes, I sure do."  He took the twenty dollars and stumbled off while mumbling "I needed fifty...."

I drove off feeling completely defeated.  I just gave twenty dollars to a man who would most likely go to the nearest liquor store and buy the bottle of his choice. What just happened?  That was not what I expected at all.  Wasn't I being obedient?  I glanced to the seat next to me and saw my husband's bible sitting there, a reminder of my failure.

Then came the first jab.  I had given a man Andrew Jackson when he clearly needed Jesus.  

The biblical account of the Samarian woman at the well when Jesus asks her for a drink immediately came to my mind.

John 4:10-14

Jesus answered her, "If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, 'Give me a drink,' you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water." The woman said to him, "Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep.  Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock." Jesus said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.  The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

Upper cut.  I had enabled a man to get Jack Daniels when he clearly needed Jesus.

Michael will surely thirst again.  In the brief encounter I had with him I could see what alcohol was doing to him.  I have seen the effects of alcohol abuse in many of my loved ones.  If I could go back, I would not have taken the easy way out and handed him money.  When I got uncomfortable instead of being spirit lead, I was emotionally lead.  Instead of having a difficult conversation, I ran to nearest ATM to appease my conscience - at least I did something... right?  Wrong.  I know I could have and should have done more.  I should have handed him living water in hopes he would sober up and maybe one day pick it up and read it.  When his buzz wore off and his money was gone, maybe then he would have reached for the bible, had I given it to him. Trusting in things of this world- alcohol, drugs, your job, your money, your marriage, your children, possessions, etc. will always cause you to thirst again.  They will appease it for a time, but you will continue to get dry. They will never be enough, and it will never be quenched.  Only Jesus can accomplish that.  In Him alone is the spring of living water.

 John 3:16

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."

The next time God presents an opportunity to me to help another, I pray for a clear mind and the wisdom to do His will.  I pray that for all of you, and I pray for Michael.

In Christ,

Jennifer